Where have I been relying on self instead of the Spirit?

Intoduction:

There’s a quiet tension many of us live with—the pull between self-reliance and Spirit-dependence. We may not even notice it at first. It creeps in through our routines, our goals, and our need to feel in control. But eventually, the symptoms show up: weariness, anxiety, frustration, and a subtle distance from the peace we once walked in.

Lately, I’ve been sensing God gently ask me a hard but healing question:

“Where have you been relying on yourself instead of Me?”

It’s not a question meant to condemn—it’s an invitation. An invitation to return, to realign, and to surrender again to the power of the Holy Spirit. And as I’ve started to reflect on it, I’ve realized just how often I reach for my own strength before I lean into His.

At first glance, it feels like a spiritual check-up. But the deeper I go, the more I realize how many areas of my life have subtly shifted from surrendered to self-driven. It wasn’t loud. It wasn’t obvious. But it was real.

The Quiet Drift

Relying on self doesn’t always look like rebellion—it can look like responsibility. It can look like “just handling things” or “getting stuff done.” It often wears the disguise of strength, hustle, or even wisdom. But the fruit tells a different story: anxiety instead of peace, fatigue instead of grace, control instead of trust.

I’ve caught myself striving in areas where God called me to rest. Planning when I should have been praying. Speaking when I should have been listening. Worrying about outcomes God never asked me to carry.

The Spirit Was Willing…

The Holy Spirit is always present—guiding, prompting, reminding, comforting—but I don’t always pause long enough to listen. I don’t always invite Him into the small stuff. And let’s be honest, sometimes I treat His nudges as suggestions instead of instructions.

But I’m learning (slowly, humbly) that God doesn’t want me to be strong without Him. He wants me to be surrendered with Him.

“Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,” says the Lord of hosts. (Zechariah 4:6)

That verse has become a mirror for me. Where have I been operating in might? Where have I leaned on my own power instead of His Spirit?

Where I’ve Been Relying on Self:

• In decision-making. Rushing ahead without waiting on peace.

• In productivity. Pushing for performance over presence.

• In relationships. Trying to fix, control, or manage instead of praying and trusting.

• In spiritual growth. Checking boxes instead of cultivating intimacy.

Returning to Dependence

This isn’t about shame—it’s about a reset. A loving nudge back into alignment. God never asked us to live this life alone. He gave us His Spirit to walk with us daily, empower us deeply, and guide us wisely.

So here’s my prayer today—and maybe it’s yours too:

“Lord, show me where I’ve been relying on my own strength. Teach me again how to lean on You. Help me to listen, to wait, and to trust. Fill me with Your Spirit—so that my life, my choices, and my strength all point back to You.”

What about you?

Where have you been relying on self instead of the Spirit? Take a moment. Breathe. Reflect. And invite Him in again.

Conclusion:

Relying on self might feel productive in the moment, but it leaves our souls depleted. The Spirit offers us something radically different—peace in the waiting, wisdom in the uncertainty, strength in our weakness. But we have to choose Him. Again and again.

So today, I’m choosing to slow down, to listen, and to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the areas of my life that need less of me and more of Him. Because true freedom isn’t found in figuring it all out—it’s found in faithfully following the One who already has.

And maybe, just maybe, the same is true for you.